


Whenever I Have Done a Thing in Flames

by slodwick



Category: Smallville
Genre: Drama, Futurefic, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2004-09-15
Updated: 2004-09-15
Packaged: 2017-11-01 10:14:50
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 730
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/355464
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/slodwick/pseuds/slodwick
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Heaven is made of ice.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Whenever I Have Done a Thing in Flames

Lex was ready to die.  
  
The illness that burned him from the inside out, the one that turned his own pulse to an almost unbearable ache, had lingered for days. Maybe weeks, he could no longer be sure. There was no strength at all left in his arms or legs; he had given up hope of ever seeing anything outside the dim, khaki tent after the fifth day. The constant sweat the coated his skin in a thin sheen had masked his tears. In the cool darkness of the night, he had whispered his goodbyes to everyone, to no one. To the only one who truly mattered. And then one morning, when he opened his eyes, he knew. He couldn't take any more. He was ready.  
  
The nurse sat beside him briefly, moistened his cracked lips with bitter, muddy water, and then moved away again into the shadows. He had seen no one else in all this time, and all the other cots remained empty. He had tried every language he knew, but the nurse only smiled and gently stroked his scalp. Sometimes she sang, sweetly hollow tunes that he couldn't place. Today, she was silent, as though she knew. Lex wished she would sing.  
  
 _Oh, God._  
  
He closed his eyes and felt a fresh wave of dizziness wash over him. It was as though he was sinking further into the stiff material of the cot, down, down through the dirt floor, into the earth. The ground would be so cool, he thought. When they buried him, probably in some shallow grave, marked with stones or nothing at all, he would be cool, at last. The dark, wonderful ground would swallow him up and draw the heat out of him.  
  
 _No. Oh, God, no._  
  
It was as though thinking it made it real. A breeze, a miraculous breath of air rushed over him suddenly. It soothed the heat away, and Lex felt he was wrapped in silk, the finest pleasure he could remember. The poets had all been wrong; death was crisp and cold and amazing, holding him, wrapped around him from head to toe. The dizziness returned, only now Lex was rising, up, higher into the frosty sky where only clouds would dare, leaving earth and fire far below.  
  
But that wasn't entirely true. There was still heat, beneath the cool silk. He felt it hot and solid like iron, wrapped under his back and knees. And along his left arm, too, though the heat was more diffuse. There was no pain in this burning, just relief and that feeling of rising. Wind rushed passed his ears, drowning out the sound of his own heartbeat.  
  
 _Please, hang on, nearly there, oh, please._  
  
Everything was suddenly still, quiet. The silk was slowly drawn away from his body, but that was all right. All around him was an incredible softness, cradling him. It was exactly how he imagined a cloud would feel. And Lex was nearly numb with cold, the closest thing to bliss he could imagine; Heaven, it seemed, was made entirely of ice. If he cried now, he wondered, would the tears freeze on his cheeks?  
  
Behind closed eyelids, Lex could discern a glow, slowly getting brighter. A rainbow of colors flared against the black as the light only grew more intense. He tensed all over, afraid to open his eyes, afraid of the pain the light would surely bring. No more, he thought. Too much. Why wasn't it over?  
  
At the first soft caress against his cheek, Lex relaxed. He slowly opened his eyes. The white was everywhere, glittering, dazzling. When the pain didn't flame inside his skin, he grew bolder, opening his eyes wider to drink in more of the brightness around him.  
  
 _Lex._  
  
The voice was low, quiet, and thundering. It was came from everywhere, all around him, whispered in his ear and echoing inside his head; he could feel it on his skin, from deep in his bones. Slowly, he turned his head, and saw an angel, the only darkness in a cavern of brilliant light.  
  
Again, a gentle caress, sparking fire across his skin. The heat was like a kiss, and then it was a kiss. Warmth that never burned spread down his body, life returning to his fingers. As Lex lifted his arms, he smiled and closed his eyes.  
  
His tears didn't freeze. 

**Author's Note:**

> Title from the song of the same name, by Songs: Ohia. Inspiration by VAST, and Nifra Idril, who said: "Bitter, silk, hollow" with a mood of "tender".


End file.
